SSPC BLOG

What have I been thinking about lately…

What does God want to do through me while i'm here in London and what does that practically look like? This is a tricky time for me cause the schedule from day to day is very flexible and can often seem like i'm not really doing anything or doing enough. We pray in the mornings then usually get from around 10:30 to 1 off for down time. At around 1:30 we usually go do something practical to serve Camden. That can be things ranging from book table, handing out gift bags for the market vendors (they have things like water and health bars or something like that in them), playing music on the canal, asking vendors or bartenders if they need prayer, prayer walks, or things like today, when it's hot we hand out ice cream and hope to get into meaningful conversations with people. All these things sound good right? Of course, but while you are doing them you don't really feel like things are getting done. You don't necessarily see the results that you might like. You might only get a handful of people to stop by the book table or have people not really care what you have to offer them. It's easy to forget that God is working even through the small conversations that you have with people. You forget that you could be the start of a beautiful story that this person goes through in order to find true life through Jesus.

God has really been challenging me to view success through his eyes. I have already been burdened with the thoughts of not being much help since i've been in Camden. I was doing devotions the other morning ( I have been having trouble finding the energy to get into the word lately…) and it was one of those times when it seems like God is speaking directly to you through words that were written hundreds of years ago. I was reading through the psalms and i kept coming across the idea of worship and giving God the praise and adoration that he rightly deserves. Throughout my thoughts and times of reflection of the word, God was saying… "Linds, stop trying to do something for me. All i want you to worry about is worshiping me." God was reminding me that before he created humans he was not lacking of worship and adoration. He wasn't lacking or has never lacked what he needs to make himself feel worshiped and appreciated. The trinity was a perfect source of worship, love, and adoration. It was only by his sheer goodness that he allowed humans to enter into that circle of perfection. That's really what the whole christian life is about right? Learning how to accept God's perfect love then being empowered to serve others with the very love that we have been given. For some crazy reason, God loves us enough to sacrifice for us so that we can come be with him in his perfection. He is restoring us and this world, and i think that is what he wants me to model for Camden. He reminded me that it's not about what i can do for him but the fact that he is doing something far greater in this world than anything i could have ever dreamed of doing. His plans are far bigger than i am thinking. He reminded me of the much bigger story that is being put together than the small things i am doing here in Camden. Once i was reminded of this, i felt true freedom!! I felt so humbled and excited that God is gracious enough to include me in this huge work that he is doing. I was putting God in a box and God took me out of it and revealed to me His vision for the world, Camden, and my life. I experienced a genuine moment of pure joy and understanding of how much God really does love me.

In light of all this, i came to realize that i will be most useful here this summer if i just simply stop myself from seeking after my insignificant vision for Camden. Lol, my new plan is to pour myself into worshiping and meditating on Jesus. Whole heartily seeking his face. What does that look like?? I haven't really figure that out exactly, but i do know that i am entering into a place of eagerness and availability. I am letting God take my eagerness to serve him and letting him do whatever he wants to do with it. Whether that is encouraging the Camden team that lives here, talking to nonbelievers about Jesus, or playing the music on the canal so that other people can have amazing conversations with the onlookers… i'll be ok with that. God reminded me that i am here to carry out "His" plan. Not my plan. I would love to do big things here this summer, but i am also humbled at the fact that God might not have that for me. One thing i am so satisfied with is regardless of who i meet or what i do, i am sitting at the feet of the King. I am loving my savior with my whole heart and i think at the end of the day that is exactly the thing that i need to be focused on. He is getting glory and if people of Camden are not ready to do that yet, they will get a good picture of what looks like through me. I trust that God will do what is best and i am excited to see what that is!

As for today, we had an amazing day. Our team leader, Dan decided that we would buy waters and popsicles and hand them out to the people on the canal. Since it was friday it was packed out and people were everywhere. We set up under a tree and started playing some music. I started with Hotel California then we busted out Oasis's wonderwall. People definitely knew that song cause i looked around and everyone was singing along. One guy walking by stopped and started singing it. It turns out another camden team member, Oli recognized him from a performance at a local cafe. The guy use to play around in pubs and cafe's. He ended up giving us his information and said he will definitely try and get up with us to play. That was one of the first people that stopped and the rest of the day took off from there. A group of young girls, about 16 sat down talked to us for at least 30 minutes. Probably 3 or 4 more groups came by and and talked with us.

After the canal music session we handed out free gift bags to the market vendors. Me and Jackie were together and met vendors that were so thankful for our gift. It was kind of surprising that we had people that wouldn't take them. They were free but vendors still didn't want them. That kinda shows you how hard the hearts of Camden are. People are really not thinking about ultimate things here. They are content with how their lives are and don't need Jesus. Pray that the Spirit breaks their hearts and opens their eyes to their need.

Anyway, it was a great day! God has been speaking so loud to me lately. I am excited to see what's next. The leaders that live here were so encouraged about today. One of the big things that the interns are here for is to encourage the missionaries. Their church is very small and it's so hard to grow here. They don't have many hands that help with the work in Camden, and now that the team has 6 more people to help make contacts, even the smallest things are great things for them.

For prayer updates… pray for the team to keep seeking to share the Gospel even when it seems like nothing is getting accomplished. Pray also that the Holy Spirit move and soften peoples hearts and for those people to come our way or to stop by the book table. You can be in prayer for the Spirit to speak in our hearts individually as well. That we not be driven in our own strength but that we be empowered by the love that is living inside of us. Pray that people see it on our faces and that it be a refreshing ray of hope. Pray that people get curious with what we are doing and may that spark conversation about Jesus. Thanks for reading my updates! You all are so awesome.